Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Who Let the Dogs Out

Sometimes I want a child. Well, about 50% of the time, usually the times I want a child are times like today, when I get to spend the day with other peoples kids and I think what a absolutely fantastic mother Id be.

Then there's those other times when I spend my days thinking about how I wish Id never got these 2 super amazing and disgustingly adorable DOGS whom Ive become somewhat obsessed with!! I love my dogs, I absolutely love every little microfiber of both of my little baby girls. I just don't love the part where I have to be home occasionally to feed them or potty them or bring them to the park in the sweltering Arizona sun for an hour (yeah, for some reason I thought it would be a grand idea to get two very high energy animals and try to keep them in a single bedroom apartment with no yard, brilliant eh?). Now if I could do these things on my time rather than theirs, Id be fine, because I don't mind it so much, its just the doing it every day when they need it part that is not so fantastic.

Thats where I get hung up with having a child. I like kids, Id be a great mother, but all the time? 24 hours a day? 7 days a week? 365 days a year? Not so much.....

I feel like I miss out on a lot already just because of the dogs. I know that sounds lame, but really. There's days when I just want to get in the car and drive with no intent on coming back in time to let the dogs out. Ya know?

Monday, August 23, 2010

It Feels Good to Be Wrong

I woke up this morning with a desperate need to 'do something'. But what?? And so, much like every other day... I began googling. About 20 minutes into my search for something to do, I realized how lame it was that I was searching all over the internet for the answer. My God Lauren... Get off the computer!! Go Outside!!

Well, its a good 105 degrees out today so I packed some food and 2 liters of water. I even put on sunscreen, and I never put on sunscreen... a bad habit, I know, but Im just plain sexy with my arizona tan, and I do it well, what can I say. I felt pretty bad leaving the house actually, as I knew the dogs had not been exercised and I always, ALWAYS put them before me, but today I just let it go. I needed an adventure.

So I did something that most people wouldn't think anything of. Something that, to me, was life changing, but to others, just another day. See, Ive somehow convinced myself, without a shadow of a doubt, that I absolutely positively can NOT hike. There are many reasons behind this, my list of reasons could very well outweigh any common sense (believe me Ive been working on it for years).

Here I am driving, just letting my karma take me where it will, and I end up at the foot of a mountain. I was suddenly stricken with the idea that perhaps my belief that I could not hike, was simply that... a belief.

With 2 front pockets and 2 back pockets I had room for a grand total of 4 things. My keys, my inhaler, an Odwalla bar, and my phone. I grabbed my 2 liters of water and I started up the path.

Well, an hour later, I made it to the top. It was hot, muggy, and brutal, but I made it. I sat for a while in my meditation position as I closed my eyes and soaked in the sun. What have I done?!! Ive proved myself wrong!! HA!

Thats when I got this idea on the way back down, the idea that maybe I could continue to prove myself wrong in other areas of my life, because being wrong today felt amazing.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Not the Best Blog Ever

Here's the thing. I want to have a blog, but every time I go on this site I feel like I need to have 'The Best Blog". I want to have the coolest layout and design. I want to have the most unique blog name on the face of the planet. I want my blog to be the most interesting, have the most followers, and be updated on a daily basis. I want it to be inspirational and creative.... I want it to make me look good. I think my blog will define me.

Heres the thing, (see, I already said 'heres the thing' in my first paragraph, and if I were in that old state of mind I would totally go back and delete that because GOOD bloggers aren't repetitive.)  This isn't the best blog ever, and Im not the best writer ever. If I keep up this crap I will never do the stuff I actually want to do in life. I don't start things because I want everything I start to be perfect and I fear that I don't have a 'good enough' idea yet.

Well, I cant say that Im going to change my ways, that Im going to do all those things in life that I crave doing, and drop my 27 year habit of being completely and utterly afraid to FAIL, but I am going to publish this blog. Yeah, thats right, Im actually going to hit the 'publish' button... Im not going to save this until I can fix it, or even preview it to make sure its up to par, because ya know what?? I cant live up to my own standards!! HA! So here I go.

I am imperfect and today that is going to be perfect.
The Music.
The Moment.
You Own it.
Dont Ever Let it Go.